There’s nothing quite like spending time with those you care about most. The feelings you get walking down the hall as you straighten yourself up in any reflection that you pass by, the warmth you experience when you set your eyes upon them for the first time in months, The overall giddiness that comes with simply wanting to have that “moment”. It’s all part of the magic of love. I honestly think if you don’t experience those emotions, there really is no love, it’s just going through the motions. I think you SHOULD be excited to see those that you care about, whether it’s everyday at 6pm when you walk in the front door, or if it’s your first time seeing someone in months. All of it is part of the package. That being said, I guess that all plays into expectation. I suppose if you expect a certain reaction and you receive something totally opposite, what then? Does the entire experience change from that moment forward. Perhaps. Or maybe it just creates an opportunity. It really all depends on how you look at it right? But for me, love has tended to come with expectation, and I’ve learned the hard way that isn’t the best way to operate. You have to let life progress as it will without trying to manipulate the outcome. After all, who are we to think we are in control? But along this train of thought came my epiphany. The thought that rejection spurs rebellion and that rebellion unleashes anger and anger leads to miscommunication, which ultimately leads to resentment. Which brings me back to the starting point.
We all deal with it, we all are a victim of it, yet do we realize how much we contribute towards it? I think not. I think we are so busy thinking about how we feel, that we don’t realize just how much our actions or lack of actions can bring forth feelings of rejection towards those that we love.
For instance, when you walk through the front door after a long day, do you leave your stress at the front door, but down your bag and smile at the faces you see once the door opens? Or do you barrel in like a lunatic and start ranting and raving about everything that feels inherently out of place in front of you? Does it occur to you that those actions stir up rejection in the people that are just wanting to say hello. Does it occur to you that maybe after a while those hellos will stop coming because everyone knows the reaction they will receive anyways? Do you realize that this pattern will lead to YOU feeling rejected yourself in the long run? It’s a tricky beast that rejection. It sneaks up on all of us when we aren’t looking.
Take the time, the 5 minutes it takes to
STOP | SMILE | APPRECIATE
That’s really all it takes. Regardless of how busy you are, if you make the time to do those three things, you will avoid the windfall that rejection brings about. Is that really too much for any of us to do? I don’t think so. I think it just takes discipline. If you train yourself to respond a certain way, you are paving a much clearer path to walk upon. Consider it your daily pruning or pulling of weeds. You take care of it little by little as they pop up and you avoid a huge disaster that feels impossible to clean up. While we certainly can’t control everything around us, we CAN control our own actions. As flawed as we all are, we still have room to improve, to grow, to learn without expectation.